


Tell Everybody That You Know

by patjpips



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6374941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patjpips/pseuds/patjpips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...neither of them have said in any capacity that they’re in a relationship. So, he really shouldn’t have felt his heart drop to his stomach, should he?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Everybody That You Know

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the vague summary, I didn't want to spoil the story too much. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> This is totally unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

1.

The first time it happened was after a practice. For some reason, Patrick was the last one who finished his shower. Just before he stepped out of the shower area, he saw that Sharpy, Duncs and Seabs were huddled around Jonny’s stall. It was suspicious to Patrick because he can barely hear their conversation, unlike their usually loud chirping. They were so focused on their conversation that they didn’t notice Patrick’s slow approach. He was five feet away when the mumbles turned into discernible words and the first thing he heard was, “It’s not like that. We’re not together or anything like that,” and it was unmistakable who said it. 

Patrick would be more worried, but in a way, he understands why Jonny had said it. They really weren’t quite together yet. Well, they’ve only really been hooking up non stop and exclusively for about three weeks - see, not even a month - and neither of them have said in any capacity that they’re in a relationship. So, he really shouldn’t have felt his heart drop to his stomach, should he? 

 

2.

The second time it happened was during the 2010 Olympics. Sidney Crosby and Jonny spent a lot of time together for some reason - okay, fine, they were teammates here, whatever. But it was during one of their teammate bondings that they let Patrick tag along. They were both walking a few paces ahead of Patrick, too busy discussing Canadian things to notice that Patrick has fallen behind. Pat was just about to run ahead to catch up when he was held back by a hand on his shoulder. He almost swung back ready to hit the sudden intruder, but he remembered he was in an international event and it was best not to be involved in any altercations. When he finally composed himself and looked back to whoever had hold of his shoulder, he saw a tall, smiling Russian step beside him. 

They make quick small talk and by the time they’ve finished catching up, they notice that Sid and Jon have stopped walking to wait for them. When they reach their respective NHL teammates, Geno gives Sidney a look and he quickly darts his eyes to Pat and Jon, as if to say _ask them_. Sid sighs but acquiesces and asks Jon and Pat if they wanted to go on a double date with them tomorrow night. Patrick was just about to agree when he hears Jonny snort beside him. Pat wrinkles his eyebrows and shoots Jonny a disgruntled look, only to be ignored as Jonny vehemently says, “No, no, no, no, you guys go on your date. Me and Pat aren’t really doing that kind of stuff.” 

Now, Pat’s really worried; because they do _do_ that kind of stuff. Just before they left for the Olympics, Jonny had taken Patrick to Johnny’s Ice House to have a romantic dinner date on centre ice. It was totally cheesy and sweet and so unlike Jonny that it kinda had Patrick swooning, and quite shocked that this man - this usually boring and serious man - had thought of something so romantic. And he had done it for Patrick. 

So, what the hell is all this crap about him and Jonny “not really doing that kind of stuff.” _What the hell?_ Patrick knows that by being well known in Chicago and being professional hockey players, they have to keep their private lives private. They have to be careful who knows about their relationship; but _come on!_ Standing in front of them are two equally prominent hockey stars in their city and in the league. If there were two people more private than Jon and Pat, it should be Sid and Geno; and yet here they were planning a romantic date in the middle of an international competition filled with press and athletes and families of athletes, not to mention the fans and rival fans who would only be too happy to expose them. 

By the time he calms down from his sudden anger, he notices three pairs of eyes staring at him, and Sid hesitantly saying, “Oh, okay then. I guess we’ll see you guys around.” He even has to drag Geno away when the guy looks like he’s about to say something. 

Jonny touches his shoulder and gives him an inquiring look, asking if he was okay. All Patrick can do is nod because he’s sure his breath is caught in his throat. He starts walking away towards Team USA’s housing, unaware that he didn’t even give Jonny any farewell remarks.

 

 

3.

The third time it happened was during the start of next season (or i guess, the current season would be more accurate). They won the Cup last year and have spent most of the summer together because they were really too happy about being Stanley Cup Champions to have the need to be apart. They had won together, won the city it’s first Stanley Cup in 49 years, fulfilling their promises to each other during their rookie season about bringing the Cup back to Chicago and winning it all. 

Right before the preseason started, Stan Bowman, Coach Q and Adam Rogowin (their PR Senior Director), had called them into a meeting room. They weren’t really worried, maybe it was just to talk about their new teammates and what the plans were for the upcoming year, which confused Patrick even more because it makes sense that Jonny is there, but Patrick’s presence in these kinds of meetings was really unnecessary. So, he was surprised when the first words he heard were, “So, is there anything new you wish to disclose to us about your summer plans? Anything we need to know in case the press gets a hold of information that they shouldn’t have?” Pat’s sure the pointed look Adam is giving him isn’t uncalled for, but he was well-behaved this past summer, spending it mostly with Jonny.

Incredibly taken aback by the inquiry, Patrick was rendered speechless in his seat. Apparently, Jonny was not, because right away, he replied “No, no new things to tell. Nothing to disclose.” 

Pat was almost ready to agree but was cut off when Rogowin said, “Are you sure, Jon? No new _relationships?_ You’re sure there’s nothing we have to look out for that the press might dig up about your activities this summer?” 

Patrick was so confused because it seemed like they were talking about something different than just over-partying and drunken shenanigans. Then it hit him like being boarded during a game. He realized what Adam, Stan, and Q have called them in here for. They were clearly asking about his and Jon’s relationship. And for the third time, Jon denied said relationship. 

All Patrick could do was sit there staring at the blank wall while they discussed team decisions around him that Jonny had managed to steer the conversation into. 

After the meeting was over, Pat went back to his house so fast that Jonny didn’t get the chance to talk to him. 

 

 

4.

The fourth time it happened. Patrick really did not see it coming. In fact, he thought the exact opposite was what he would be preparing for. It was during their Christmas break and they had flown in both their families to celebrate the holidays with. Christmas Eve morning, however, was spent at Coach Q’s house because they wanted to host a pre-Christmas party, all families welcome. It was quite a fun and loud shindig; so it was a bit of a surprise that just as he walked by one of the sitting rooms, he heard his mom’s voice clearly speaking with Jon’s mom. Their conversation seemed to be about their plans for Christmas Day. By the end of Patrick’s eavesdropping, both moms have planned on getting both their families together so that Patrick and Jonathan didn’t have to spend Christmas apart. 

Pat walked away with a massive smile on his face that Jonathan noticed as soon as they were standing beside each other. Jon asked what got him smiling like a loon, but he waved it off and said, “tell you later.” The smile didn’t fade from his face until it was time for them to leave the party just after 2pm. They were getting in their cars and waiting for both families to pile into their son’s respective vehicles when Donna and Andree approached them both. 

Not beating around the bush, Donna immediately told them their plans about Christmas. Patrick pretends not to know, even as his smile threatened to rip his face as it tried to reach his ears. He was getting incredibly excited as his mom and Andree outlined how the day would go. So, it was definitely not his heart that he felt was being ripped out of his chest as he heard Jonny decline their moms’ plans of a joint Christmas, was it? His knees felt weak and his head started spinning right there in the middle of Q’s driveway as Jonny spouted off a billion different reasons why they shouldn’t go through with those plans. What hurt the most, the reason that made him have to lean on the hood of his car, however, is when he heard Jonny say, “Really, mom, Donna, that’s not necessary, me and Pat have agreed on spending Christmas separately. We wanted to spend as much time with our families as much as we can, especially since we spent the summer together and everything.” 

_No, they did not agree on spending Christmas apart! No, he did not feel like he’s spending less time with his family just because he spent most of the summer with Jon._

Wow, Patrick did not even know that that’s what Jonny thought about their summer together. Patrick thought that those days were some of the best of his life, and it was barely because of the Cup. He thought that all that time with Jonny had only strengthened their relationship. But know he really felt like he was going to collapse, because he was unaware that he seemed like a burden to Jonny, a way that kept him from spending time with his family, a hindrance that disallowed him to spend the summer enjoying by himself. 

He felt the tears welling in his eyes, and was barely aware that he told his mom, “Let’s go, mom. Jonny said no. Don’t push it,” before he gave the car keys to his dad and got in the passenger seat. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to drive safely with all his emotions trying to burst out of him. 

There was no denying now that his Christmas was ruined. He felt his mom’s hand on his shoulder and he lets out what he’s positive is a strangled and hoarse, “I’m fine, mom.” 

 

 

5\. 

The fifth and last time it happened was just before Christmas Day officially ended. He’d spent the day as happy as he could muster even while still feeling hollow after the events of the day before. His family let him brood as much as is appropriate, but had not let him completely drag down the mood of the holidays. His sisters had piled him with all the spiked eggnog that they could without getting him drunk, and the whole family had silently agreed to cook Pat’s favourite Christmas foods. 

It was almost time for bed as the team had practice the next afternoon. They’d opened all their presents and had finished their annual Christmas movie family bonding. His sisters were all settled in the guest room, and his parents in theirs, when the doorbell rang. 

He’s surprised by the lateness of his visitor, but he figured it was just last minute carollers as he opened the door without looking through the peephole. His breath got knocked out of him as Jonny walked in and greeted him a Merry Christmas. Jonny was about to hug and kiss him when Pat remembered the pain that he’s suffered through the past couple of days. He sidestepped Jonny and saw Jon’s bewildered look at his avoidance. Jonny asked him what’s wrong and that was just the last straw. 

“What’s wrong?! Are you for real right now, Jon? If you honestly don’t know what’s wrong, then I don’t understand what the hell it is we’re doing together!” Patrick realized that his voice had become louder and his family was asleep upstairs; but his anger had taken precedence. 

“I really don’t know, Pat. Tell me! Let me fix it, please,” Jonny begged.

“How can you possibly fix this, Jon? You can’t just stare the problem into non-existence.”

“Tell me first, Pat! What did I do?”

Patrick let out a defeated sigh, and said quietly, “I was really looking forward to spending our Christmas together. Both our families were here to spend it with us. And our moms were planning to have a joint Christmas so we could be together, and _you didn’t want any of it!!”_ Pat said, part screaming, part hissing those last words.”

Patrick’s anger skyrocketed when he heard Jonny’s explanation of, “I… I didn’t know we were at that level in our relationship, Pat.”

“Not at that level?!” He screamed, indignant. “How can we be not at that level, Jonathan? We’ve been together for just over a year now. And dancing around whatever it is between us for longer than that.” 

He paused to collect himself before his tears started to spill out. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he continued, “Do you know what I felt that day, just a few days after my birthday, when you finally kissed me? It felt _so_ liberating, Jon. To finally be able to really admit to myself and to you that I’ve been in love with you. To finally be able to kiss you like I’ve been wanting to for years. And to have you feel the same and do the same to me. It felt so freeing, Jon. To get all of that pining and heartache out of my chest and trust that you would take care of it.”

“Hell, just last month we celebrated our anniversary. And I loved it, really I did. You were so romantic and that night was so perfect. But for the last year, you’ve been constantly denying our relationship every chance that you got. From our friends. From management. From our families!” 

It was one thing to deny it because they’ve only been together for three weeks. Patrick had let it go because he eventually understood that they were almost going to be outed in the middle of the Olympics Athletes Village. Denying it to management, to the coach, to PR, might have just been to remove them of the burden of having to protect Patrick and Jon. But stopping their families from celebrating together, saying that they weren’t in that level of their relationship yet, well, Patrick just could not handle that kind of denial anymore.”

“I love how you are when we’re alone. I love how caring you can be, how protective you are of me, and how much of a romantic you can actually turn into. But every time that you deny our relationship, Jon, it feels like you’re ashamed of me. Like - like, I’m not worthy to be with The Great Jonathan Toews!” 

Jonny tried to explain himself but Pat didn’t let him. “Outside of our houses, outside of the two of us, it doesn’t even feel like you want us to be together. You made me feel like _I’ve_ done something wrong. Like I’m nothing to you other than a teammate or a friend. You keep brushing off our relationship as if it didn’t mean anything to you. But you are _so much more to me_ than that. And I want to be able to tell our friends. I want to tell management that there is something that they might have to watch out for in the press. I want to spend Christmas with both our families.” 

Patrick pauses to wipe at the tears that are now flowing freely down his cheeks. “But it is so clear to me that that’s not want you want. So, now as a Christmas present, I’m giving you what you want, Jon. You don’t have to hide our relationship anymore, because there’s no more relationship to hide,” voice cracking on the last words. 

“Merry Christmas Jon. I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.” Patrick stepped around Jonny. Aware of his shaking, clammy hands, he turned the doorknob, opening the door. He let his head hang and waited silently for Jonny to leave. He’s not sure what Jonny was doing but it took a while for him to leave, so Patrick pressed him with a barely whispered “go” to get him out of the house. After a few minutes, Jonny did let himself out the door and Patrick collapsed to the ground, back against the closed door, and let all his tears spill out. He stayed there for what felt like hours but he knows he had to go to his room and lock his bedroom door if he didn’t want his family to see how wrecked he is. 

 

+1

It was now New Year’s Eve, with ten minutes left in the countdown for the new year. It was Stalberg this time who volunteered to host the party. It’s been a normal New Years party. Patrick was initially just going to skip it because the last few days that he had to interact with Jonny had been torture and he did not want to be in a party mood. Sharpy convinced him at the last minute to show up and just be with the team, try to have fun and forget whatever it is that made him so un-Kaner like the past few days. He’d been watching Jonny since he arrived at Stalberg’s house. There was no avoiding it. He was hurt, yes, but he was also still in love with the man. A few days apart weren’t going to get rid of those feelings.

They have managed to avoid speaking to each other, but both have been sneaking looks at the other all night. 

Patrick takes a spot on the couch with only a couple of minutes left until the New Year officially starts. Having small chit chats with whoever is in his immediate vicinity, he is surprised when people all around him starts counting down from ten….nine…eight…he sees Jon speed walk through the crowd of people between them…five…Jonny cups his face and pulls him up...two…one…and Jonny kisses him right there in front of all their teammates and coaches and management and whichever family members decided to tag along. 

Patrick pulls back with tears in his eyes, stares at Jonny with a hopeful look in his face, with a slight hesitation and a lot of doubt, which Jonny decides should never be an expression on Patrick’s face when it comes to Jonny’s feelings for him. So Jonny leans in one more time and kisses Patrick again. Patrick again pulls back, but this time, it’s to give Jonny the tightest embrace that he can give him. With tears streaming down his face, Patrick whispers in Jonny’s ears, “I missed you so much, Jon. Don’t ever let me push you away again.”

“Never, Pat. And I promise to never give you anymore reasons to want to push me away, ever again,” Jon replies. 

As they stand there hugging each other and whispering promises to each other as the New Year dawns, they hear a thunderous applause coming from the people around them. Realizing that they’re in the middle of a party full of teammates with new chirping material, Patrick hides his flushed and heated face on the crook of Jonny’s neck. He gives a happy sigh and a light chuckle as he feels Jonny kiss him on the forehead. 

It doesn’t matter how embarrassing this situation really is, how much chirping they’re going to get for the rest of their lives, as long as he’s in Jonny’s arms, feeling Jonny’s love and pride that they’re together, Patrick knows that he will never have to endure the pain that he’s had to endure this past year. Today is the start of the new year, and the beginning of a fresh start to his and Jonny’s relationship. _God, he’s getting so freaking cheesy now. He totally deserves all the chirping he gets._

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I don't know what this was. It's been in my head for a while and I just needed to get it out. Thanks for sticking it out till the end there. I really wanted to post this anonymously but I couldn't unless I post it in a collection and that was way more extra work than I was willing to do, so I sucked it up and posted it. Hope it's not too bad and it actually came out the way I wanted it to.


End file.
